Saturday, 4 April 2015
weight loss (again)
So I may be writing a lot on this subject in the coming months, years who knows? All I know is something in me clicked. I don’t know what it was, maybe I just ran out of excuses for myself? When I was in school it was we do PE twice a week that’s enough, then 6th form in the same school it was harder as there was so much coursework (another excuse), then I left and had no job meaning I didn’t have the money to pay for the gym especially as the local gym wanted £60 first month £30 PM after (yet again an excuse) then I got a job but I was working 8-6 every day by the time I got home I was so tired I’d have my tea and go to bed (excuse) and all though I had these excuses and some of them are legit and difficult to work around (how can you work over 50 hours a week, still see family which was rare, have friends even rarer for me to hang out with them, sleep and exercise? I’m not wonder woman)
But now my hours have dropped meaning so have my wages BUT I still get money and I’ve found this new scheme around where I live. It’s called invigor8 and you can use the pool and gym (brand new gym has just opened) all for £15 PM and it’s unlimited usage so I go swimming nearly every day unless I’m in work late.
As from tomorrow I’m going to the gym AS WELL AS swimming. I don’t what clicked but I just want this weight gone, I’m sick of being the one who boys think of as a joke or a friend at most, I’m sick of people taking the absolute piss when it comes to weight and I would LOVE to see the looks on the faces of those I went to school with who took the piss, lads that blew me off in such a nasty manner etc. I think it’d be brilliant.
Now I don’t know if I’ve lost anything but I am a dress size down and I’m entering week 9 of swimming tomorrow. I stupidly didn’t weigh myself as I didn’t want to be driven by numbers in case I went overboard like in the past.
If you’re going through what I am and you’re debating about losing weight start swimming, power through the fact you don’t want to, the first few times I went I was such a slow swimmer I felt like I was literally swimming through treacle, it felt so monotonous and tiring but now I’m faster, I don’t need breaks anymore and I am much faster now I can actually got to the lane which is sectioned off for the super fast swimmers and do a few lengths there.
I now know my weight and I pray that I lose some and soon, I think if this doesn’t work with all the work I’m putting in and plan on putting in even more I think I will actually cry.
Thursday, 2 April 2015
Panic! At the disco
So I heard that Spencer Smith is leaving Panic! At the disco. I've love this band for 7 years. Luckily ive seen them play twice both times when Ian and Dallon were there. The second time my mates and I got meet and greets, the band were amazing but the thing I remember the most was Spencer, so calm , so lovely (as were the rest of the band of course) but I stood next to him for a photo whilst my two other mates sorted themselves around the rest of the band. I had Spencer to my left Ian (who was so nervous bless him) to my right and I remember so much. The way he was chewing gum and smelt mildly minty, the fact that he was so thin I was worried I'd squish and hurt the poor guy, the way he put his arm around me and the words he said to me as we moved in closer (there was a fair gap I was too nervous to get too close but he relaxed me) I remember the way they all smiles when we presented them with a lern yerself Scouse book praying they'd learn Scouse and come to Liverpool (we were in machester) now Now I'm not going to lie but Brendon had been my crush since I was 15-16 but I have never admired one man the way I have Spencer Smith. He stuck with the band when Ryan and John left, he could've called it a day but he didn't, him and Brendon carried on for us, I admired him more for coming clean about his addiction and whilst I'm sad he's leaving I respect and admire him more for telling us personally not just telling a magazine or letting rumours do the work for him. Spencer James Smith you will always have our hearts and thank you for everything ❤️
Saturday, 6 December 2014
weight loss
So I’m planning to start losing weight mid December early January I want to lose 3-4 dress sizes by April (comic con and I really want to dress as Tomb Raider I want to lose weight anyway but thought having a target would go better than just lose what I can when I can)
Worried I can’t lose weight because I know some people physically can’t I mean I walked best part of 10 miles a day 5 days a week and I barely lost a few pounds, I was also doing yoga in the afternoon daily and squats and lunges (up to 300 a day but had to stop as I caused damage to my knees from not wearing supportive shoes when I was doing all the walking)
I’m looking into the possibility of me achieving this weight goal in such a small amount of time and I’ve already hit one major snag which could be why I’m not losing weight as it is. You have to eat 3 healthy meals a day. I very rarely eat breakfast as the thought of food in the morning makes me queasy and lately I’ve not had time for lunch because of my work hours (it’s too late for lunch and too early for tea once I’m finished so I either snack or just eat tea in a day) how am I going to lose weight if I can’t even fit time in for 3 meals a day?
I plan on going swimming daily as I’ve heard this is a good workout for all areas (plus will help to strengthen my knees). My body shape is weird I need to lose it from belly, thighs and upper arms and tone my butt but everywhere else is the way I want it to be (Skinny lower arms, toned-ish lower legs, could do with a bit more work)
I have to be careful when it comes to dieting I’ve been feeling fat since I was about 13 and tried diets and they’ve gone wrong I’ve either not eaten anything for days then eaten something to stop myself passing out or I’ve dieted well then binged on crap weeks later. I think I’ll attempt either 3 regular meals a day or 5 really small meals I don’t know if this works well. The juice or all fruit/veg diet looks tempting but I’m trying to avoid it.
My appetite is weird (even my doctor said so) I go through stages where I am constantly hungry and barely anything fills me then a few weeks or months later I can barely manage a sandwich a day (at one point it was half a sandwich I was just too full to eat) it goes back and fourth I’ve had blood tests no one knows why my appetite varies so much. I go through stages where I crave fruity sweets (skittles, fruit pastels, starburst etc) no one can explain this to me either and before you ask no I’m not pregnant.
I have a lot to go through especially as I still have sinus problems and knee problems which limit my ability to exercise (I did ok going hard at physiotherapy gym though didn’t go dizzy much or faint) I’m probably not meant to swim with my sinus problems but sod it I’ll put wool or earbud things in to stop water going in.
Will write to say how I’m getting on but at the moment I’m not too sceptical so looking at other outfits for comic con. I’m not doing this for comic con though I’m doing it for me I just thought using comic con as a target would be a good idea.
Thanks if you’ve read this it’s not about whether anyone reads it though it’s just me getting my weight loss worries out in the open.
So 2015 losing 3-4 dress sizes in 4 months can I do it? Well I’ll have to let you know.
Worried I can’t lose weight because I know some people physically can’t I mean I walked best part of 10 miles a day 5 days a week and I barely lost a few pounds, I was also doing yoga in the afternoon daily and squats and lunges (up to 300 a day but had to stop as I caused damage to my knees from not wearing supportive shoes when I was doing all the walking)
I’m looking into the possibility of me achieving this weight goal in such a small amount of time and I’ve already hit one major snag which could be why I’m not losing weight as it is. You have to eat 3 healthy meals a day. I very rarely eat breakfast as the thought of food in the morning makes me queasy and lately I’ve not had time for lunch because of my work hours (it’s too late for lunch and too early for tea once I’m finished so I either snack or just eat tea in a day) how am I going to lose weight if I can’t even fit time in for 3 meals a day?
I plan on going swimming daily as I’ve heard this is a good workout for all areas (plus will help to strengthen my knees). My body shape is weird I need to lose it from belly, thighs and upper arms and tone my butt but everywhere else is the way I want it to be (Skinny lower arms, toned-ish lower legs, could do with a bit more work)
I have to be careful when it comes to dieting I’ve been feeling fat since I was about 13 and tried diets and they’ve gone wrong I’ve either not eaten anything for days then eaten something to stop myself passing out or I’ve dieted well then binged on crap weeks later. I think I’ll attempt either 3 regular meals a day or 5 really small meals I don’t know if this works well. The juice or all fruit/veg diet looks tempting but I’m trying to avoid it.
My appetite is weird (even my doctor said so) I go through stages where I am constantly hungry and barely anything fills me then a few weeks or months later I can barely manage a sandwich a day (at one point it was half a sandwich I was just too full to eat) it goes back and fourth I’ve had blood tests no one knows why my appetite varies so much. I go through stages where I crave fruity sweets (skittles, fruit pastels, starburst etc) no one can explain this to me either and before you ask no I’m not pregnant.
I have a lot to go through especially as I still have sinus problems and knee problems which limit my ability to exercise (I did ok going hard at physiotherapy gym though didn’t go dizzy much or faint) I’m probably not meant to swim with my sinus problems but sod it I’ll put wool or earbud things in to stop water going in.
Will write to say how I’m getting on but at the moment I’m not too sceptical so looking at other outfits for comic con. I’m not doing this for comic con though I’m doing it for me I just thought using comic con as a target would be a good idea.
Thanks if you’ve read this it’s not about whether anyone reads it though it’s just me getting my weight loss worries out in the open.
So 2015 losing 3-4 dress sizes in 4 months can I do it? Well I’ll have to let you know.
Monday, 21 July 2014
A catch up
So in the past few months I’ve got a job (been working there about 8 weeks now) I do enjoy it quite a lot but at times it’s been hard mainly just getting used to everything.
Health wise (as I’m sure previous readers are aware I was having seriously chronic sinus problem and the last I updated I had had an operation.) well the operation hasn’t worked. It stopped my symptoms for a bit so I thought I was all better but then they slowly came back and I’m nearly the same I was when I had my operation in Dec 2012 (I was told it could take a year to fully come into effect so was made to wait) now I’m at the point where I’m trying to hide it from work. They know I get sinus problems but like many people they don’t the full extent.
When I tell people I have chronic sinus problems they look at me as if to say and?! And I wouldn’t blame anyone reading this to think the same because personally I would’ve been the same if it was happening to someone else. Thing is it affects me in so many ways so that sitting or standing makes me almost black out or get tunnel vision. (I had this at work once and leant against a wall when outsiders where in and I got pulled into the office because I just looked like I couldn’t be bothered and unprofessional but I didn’t want to tell them the extent of my sinus problems in case they decide I’m not fit for work and I lose my job) my work probably think I’m mostly quite lazy (a lot of the time I have to sit down because of sinus problems and now I have knee problems which I will go into in a moment) but when I’m having a good day I’m really hard working and do all I can barely sitting at all.
People probably get sick of me ranting about my sinuses but truth is I know others have it so much worse and I’m thankful it’s only my sinuses but I’ve had this control my life every day since I was 15 (I’m 21 now) I’ve had to cancel trips out last minute, cancel on friends because it’s making me feel too sick, can’t go in the car or bus for 5 minutes without medication or I come very close to being sick (at one point I went 2 minutes down the road from mine in a car and had to stop and go home because I was almost sick. I’ve had many nights where it’s made me so ill, my hearts been racing and I’ve had to have a sick bowl next to me (the weird thing is it feels like the moment when you’d get car sick and your mum, dad or whoever would stop the car just in time and you wouldn’t be sick, I‘ve only actually been sick physically once… I was in a hotel with my friends and nearly had to go home, I felt much better after.) It’s weird how something as minor as your sinuses can cause such massive problems. Oh and every time I get hay fever or a cold it sends me back to square one and with my sinuses I’m prone to infection. I’m getting them roughly once a month if not more. I’ve only just got rid of one the other week.
Now onto my knees. So I keep bashing my poor left knee off of things (accidentally) tables, doors, walls etc and I’ve actually put a lump and dent into my knee cap, then I was doing squats and lunges (I’ve lost some weight…yay!) and my knee hurt a bit like normal since finding the dent and lump but then it started to swell to double the size of my other knee and by then I was finished with my squats and lunges. My doctor referred my to physio which is coming up in August but my dad said take ibuprofen when it swells and after a week it worked but then it came back. I then messed up my other knee by kneeling on a large Thomas the tank engine toy so now I have another lump and for days I could barely put pressure on either leg (awkward when I was walking to and from work.. Almost 5 miles each way) but now I can’t have my knees bent too long or it gets worse.
I’m 21 and feel like an old person at times but hopefully I can get it all sorted ASAP.
On the plus now I have a job I’m working good hours (flexible though) but I’m getting enough money so as my parents birthdays are 1 week apart I’ve bought them tickets to see the lion king live in London and they’re staying for two nights and I’m giving them train tickets and spends the lot. They won’t have to pay for a thing.
Sorry for the long update and I know you might not care but just getting this written down, even if it’s not read makes me feel a lot better.
Health wise (as I’m sure previous readers are aware I was having seriously chronic sinus problem and the last I updated I had had an operation.) well the operation hasn’t worked. It stopped my symptoms for a bit so I thought I was all better but then they slowly came back and I’m nearly the same I was when I had my operation in Dec 2012 (I was told it could take a year to fully come into effect so was made to wait) now I’m at the point where I’m trying to hide it from work. They know I get sinus problems but like many people they don’t the full extent.
When I tell people I have chronic sinus problems they look at me as if to say and?! And I wouldn’t blame anyone reading this to think the same because personally I would’ve been the same if it was happening to someone else. Thing is it affects me in so many ways so that sitting or standing makes me almost black out or get tunnel vision. (I had this at work once and leant against a wall when outsiders where in and I got pulled into the office because I just looked like I couldn’t be bothered and unprofessional but I didn’t want to tell them the extent of my sinus problems in case they decide I’m not fit for work and I lose my job) my work probably think I’m mostly quite lazy (a lot of the time I have to sit down because of sinus problems and now I have knee problems which I will go into in a moment) but when I’m having a good day I’m really hard working and do all I can barely sitting at all.
People probably get sick of me ranting about my sinuses but truth is I know others have it so much worse and I’m thankful it’s only my sinuses but I’ve had this control my life every day since I was 15 (I’m 21 now) I’ve had to cancel trips out last minute, cancel on friends because it’s making me feel too sick, can’t go in the car or bus for 5 minutes without medication or I come very close to being sick (at one point I went 2 minutes down the road from mine in a car and had to stop and go home because I was almost sick. I’ve had many nights where it’s made me so ill, my hearts been racing and I’ve had to have a sick bowl next to me (the weird thing is it feels like the moment when you’d get car sick and your mum, dad or whoever would stop the car just in time and you wouldn’t be sick, I‘ve only actually been sick physically once… I was in a hotel with my friends and nearly had to go home, I felt much better after.) It’s weird how something as minor as your sinuses can cause such massive problems. Oh and every time I get hay fever or a cold it sends me back to square one and with my sinuses I’m prone to infection. I’m getting them roughly once a month if not more. I’ve only just got rid of one the other week.
Now onto my knees. So I keep bashing my poor left knee off of things (accidentally) tables, doors, walls etc and I’ve actually put a lump and dent into my knee cap, then I was doing squats and lunges (I’ve lost some weight…yay!) and my knee hurt a bit like normal since finding the dent and lump but then it started to swell to double the size of my other knee and by then I was finished with my squats and lunges. My doctor referred my to physio which is coming up in August but my dad said take ibuprofen when it swells and after a week it worked but then it came back. I then messed up my other knee by kneeling on a large Thomas the tank engine toy so now I have another lump and for days I could barely put pressure on either leg (awkward when I was walking to and from work.. Almost 5 miles each way) but now I can’t have my knees bent too long or it gets worse.
I’m 21 and feel like an old person at times but hopefully I can get it all sorted ASAP.
On the plus now I have a job I’m working good hours (flexible though) but I’m getting enough money so as my parents birthdays are 1 week apart I’ve bought them tickets to see the lion king live in London and they’re staying for two nights and I’m giving them train tickets and spends the lot. They won’t have to pay for a thing.
Sorry for the long update and I know you might not care but just getting this written down, even if it’s not read makes me feel a lot better.
Sunday, 29 December 2013
2013 year review
So this year for me has been absolutely wonderful. I’ve had the odd problem such as sinus problems still continuing but everything else has been so wonderful it cancels out the odd bad thing.
Let’s start from the start.
So in January & February I met up with some girls off of twitter and went to Lime Pictures (where Hollyoaks is filmed) to meet some of the actors and I had an amazing time and out of it I now have a new group of friends. Emma, Lucy, and Rebecca. I then met Amanda in March at Kieron Richardson’s party.
So in the first 3 months other than these girls I met:
Emmett Scanlan x2
Kieron Richardson x2
PJ Brennan
Jorgie Porter
James Atherton
Claire Cooper x2
Danny Mac
Jessica Forest
Nikki Sanderson
Ashley Taylor Dawson
Jazz Franks
Jimmy McKenna
Ela May
In February came Justin Bieber’s concert I’d been to the my world tour and that was my first ever concert and this time for believe me and Holly took our little sisters who got on like a house on fire. It was such a great feeling to watch as my little sister experienced her first ever concert in the exact same place and seats as I watched my first one. She was in awe and nearly cried at the perfection.
Then in the coming months there was 3 PA’s of Emmett’s that I went to and it was so fun. The planning, the panic of every journey (it never went exactly right for me like nearly getting stranded in London with no more than £3) We also met Toby Everett on these trips and he’s fab too and each one was better than the last.
Then came an amazing opportunity to be an extra in a film with Emmett as I had pledged some money to help with the film’s budget. 3 days of filming, one day for a good 14 hours in Kingdom nightclub filming club scenes, one day started a bit late so I missed filming but then the final day me and the girls watched more filming take place and had a laugh and we met some other girls whilst there: Lis, Gabi, Tina, Louise to name a few and we met Nadia who was helping the boys with the film.
I then went to truckfest in the summer to see Emmett and got to see loads of cool trucks and awesome stunt bikers. Those trucks were bloody loud!
I also cut and donated my hair to charity (the little princesses) and raised £60 (+10 gift aid) for the charity stand up 2 cancer which involved standing up for 24 hours. Hard but definitely worth it.
This year also saw me and my mates celebrating being friends for 10 years and we’re all still so close, best friends a girl could ask for.
November came my parents birthdays and my 21st. My friends through me a little party at one of the girls homes (including a stripper) before we hit the town. I then got to see Emmett just under 2 weeks later for the premier of the film. Also met Joe Tracini and Charlie Wernham that day.
Now it’s December, Christmas was amazing and Kieron and Gaydio had another party and Ela May was there as well as Kirsty Leigh-Porter. Year’s almost done and it’s just been a hell of a year. Much love to everyone and hope you had a happy holiday and wish you all the best for the new year.
Let’s start from the start.
So in January & February I met up with some girls off of twitter and went to Lime Pictures (where Hollyoaks is filmed) to meet some of the actors and I had an amazing time and out of it I now have a new group of friends. Emma, Lucy, and Rebecca. I then met Amanda in March at Kieron Richardson’s party.
So in the first 3 months other than these girls I met:
Emmett Scanlan x2
Kieron Richardson x2
PJ Brennan
Jorgie Porter
James Atherton
Claire Cooper x2
Danny Mac
Jessica Forest
Nikki Sanderson
Ashley Taylor Dawson
Jazz Franks
Jimmy McKenna
Ela May
In February came Justin Bieber’s concert I’d been to the my world tour and that was my first ever concert and this time for believe me and Holly took our little sisters who got on like a house on fire. It was such a great feeling to watch as my little sister experienced her first ever concert in the exact same place and seats as I watched my first one. She was in awe and nearly cried at the perfection.
Then in the coming months there was 3 PA’s of Emmett’s that I went to and it was so fun. The planning, the panic of every journey (it never went exactly right for me like nearly getting stranded in London with no more than £3) We also met Toby Everett on these trips and he’s fab too and each one was better than the last.
Then came an amazing opportunity to be an extra in a film with Emmett as I had pledged some money to help with the film’s budget. 3 days of filming, one day for a good 14 hours in Kingdom nightclub filming club scenes, one day started a bit late so I missed filming but then the final day me and the girls watched more filming take place and had a laugh and we met some other girls whilst there: Lis, Gabi, Tina, Louise to name a few and we met Nadia who was helping the boys with the film.
I then went to truckfest in the summer to see Emmett and got to see loads of cool trucks and awesome stunt bikers. Those trucks were bloody loud!
I also cut and donated my hair to charity (the little princesses) and raised £60 (+10 gift aid) for the charity stand up 2 cancer which involved standing up for 24 hours. Hard but definitely worth it.
This year also saw me and my mates celebrating being friends for 10 years and we’re all still so close, best friends a girl could ask for.
November came my parents birthdays and my 21st. My friends through me a little party at one of the girls homes (including a stripper) before we hit the town. I then got to see Emmett just under 2 weeks later for the premier of the film. Also met Joe Tracini and Charlie Wernham that day.
Now it’s December, Christmas was amazing and Kieron and Gaydio had another party and Ela May was there as well as Kirsty Leigh-Porter. Year’s almost done and it’s just been a hell of a year. Much love to everyone and hope you had a happy holiday and wish you all the best for the new year.
Wednesday, 22 May 2013
Filming!
So I’ve had the opportunity to film with Emmett Scanlan (as an extra) 12/05/13 we were there from 9am-10pm and it was tiring but so much fun. I got picked for quite a few scenes so far (about 4 scenes) and it’s great watching your favourite actor in work mode and it’s even better when you get to work with them. It was all set in a club these scenes and it’s for his film personal appearance which should be out august 10th so I’m super excited though I know I’m gonna cringe watching myself. We should be filming this weekend too but somewhere different (possibly the set of my favourite soap!) so I now have a new dress and such and I can’t wait because it’s such fun! And bless him he still made sure he came over to us a few times in the day to chat to us and take photos :D
Saturday, 6 April 2013
Little update
Not a lot to report really. Had another blood test and have hospital Monday, miss Bondi being on TV (and realised they didn’t do any hangouts this year), I met Emmett again on Thursday (Such an amazing night!) and I think I’ve dropped a jean size because my skinny jeans are now seriously loose and I’m having to wear braces (or suspenders?) to keep them from falling down. Other than that nothing much has been going on. I met Emmett at a PA this time in a club. (I travelled 7 hours there and 6 and a half back… and nearly got stranded in London) Was lovely seeing him fresh off his holiday and in a nice relaxed atmosphere where he wasn’t knackered from filming for hours. He’s actually so unbelievably lovely. Could go on about that night for hours :D
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